My Mother in Law Told Me “Eat A Bag Of Dicks“

One of my weaknesses in life is potato chips. I never eat my own potato chips as I don’t have the self control to have them in the house. So like a bad cigarette smoker, I eat other peoples chips.

I was sitting in the kitchen of the RV that belonged to my father in Law (Dick) and his wife. We were listening to Gary Puckett and The Union Gap. Nobody listens to Gary Puckett, rather it sneaks up on you like the smarmy person he can be. I made a comment about his creepiness and this pissed off my mother in law.

It was the middle of the day and it was rather warm for a spring day in Colorado. Much of the culture of the RV park is centered around sitting at a picnic table and eating. It is an art form lost on many. They were both sitting and eating from small chip bags much like I did when I packed my lunch as an eight year old. I seem to recall they had bolognia sandwiches as well.

I asked the wife of my father in law, if I could have a bag of chips. Not being heard the first time, I asked again, if I could have a small bag of chips. She was stubborn that way, as she could be protective of her food supply. Campers plan out meals with artesian precision.

I guess she is my step step mother in law. Let’s just call her Alexandra.

She was protective of her chips and yes weird at odd times.

Alexandra, glared at me for a second , and continued munching on her sandwich. Appearing to ignore me, she walked over to the refrigerator and took out a sweating cold grape soda.

And she handed me a sideways sardonic glance.

“Sure”

“Eat a bag of Dick’s”

Dick handed me a bag of chips. Now I needed a grape soda.