My Pictures Of You

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  • Life Without Gravity -Does Water Float

    Mike Stipe stayed in the bar because he liked it there and Luna and I did our best to head to the waters edge. The world took on a surrealist edge with gravity doing the best it could to hang on. This seemed like an aftershock to the previous interludes of zero gravity. Luna, only weighing twenty pounds needed to be tethered to the ground. The leash served to purpose for the most part. I looked like I was flying a dog like one would a kite,

    The streets were barren in most places as people looked to local news and Matt Zophino for meteorological advice, from what I have been told the weather messiah appeared crestfallen and scared to death. He had never seen a low pressure situation such as this.

    It felt like we were marching to Mecca when we ran into the a coyote trying to recall its native land. The coyote, having more mass did rise or float quite as high as Luna. If they had it would have been a bloody disaster .

    We arrived at what felt like the waters edge only to find our once tranquil riverbank a whitewater postcard

    To Be Continued- King Of Birds

  • Living Without Gravity is Uplifting (3) NightSwimming

    There we were sitting on top of Bark chip Mountain and decided we needed to go do a little night swimming.

    The fear of getting caught
    Of recklessness and water
    They cannot see me naked
    These things, they go away

    It was right there, but Mr. Michael turned and looked at me with wild bedazzled eyes and said to me “ you’re not really good at electricity are you?”

    My obvious answer was no, and we started heading down to the stream for a little swimming and then things got weird. Slowly, and surely gravity started to not work again. It looks like I messed up the fuse box big time. I didn’t seem to have the full effect as we weren’t flying up in the air. It was more like floating. It was an easy commute down to the stream because cars and bicycles and even buses, seemed to stay pretty close to the ground.

    However, Michael, myself and our dog Luna were having a hard time staying grounded. I wrapped my head on a pine tree when we got distracted along the way. There sat a little bar the locals called the Frontier Tavern. We decided to go in and have ourself a beer.

    It was dark, and dour heartfelt music played on the jukebox. It was an old country song about trains and train stations. I liked that song and Michael said he did too. Luna didn’t seem too much care and she walked in, not expecting the owner to say a word.

    Which brings me to a joke

    I walked up to the bartender and asked her if we can have three beers. She asked us where our partners were. She assumed we were single.

    I asked her why she assumed I was single.

    She said because you’re ugly.

    We really need to get to that swimming hole.

    To be Continued-Does Water Float?

  • Living Without Gravity is Uplifting

    In my previous post, I awkwardly described my first few minutes when I found out the Earth had no gravity

    It’s not a bad day when you end up hanging out in a tree with Michael Stipe. we both felt a little stupid hanging onto a tree. However, the rest of the world didn’t make any sense either.

    I forgot that on this day, we had fixed the hot water heater earlier. nothing seemed to be working in the house. The hot water heater didn’t work and I really need a shower by now.

    I called the repair person from the company who helped me fix the hot water heater. They had talked me through the repair and I forgot to reset the gravity breaker on the fuse box.

    I didn’t realize the gravity breaker worked like this.

    I flipped the switch on the fuse box and everything seemed different.

    To Be Continued

  • Living Without Gravity is Uplifting (2)

    Yes, I found out when I turned a circuit breaker off in the house that I turned off the gravity as well. I’m not real good with electricity or gravity. I get the equations right but I didn’t realize I could control them. I had messed around with the wiring and I must’ve messed something up.

    I turned off the circuit breaker for the gravity, and I forgot Michael Stipe was still in the tree. He came tumbling down along with my Jack Russell terrier.A few branches broke their fall, and they were no worse for the wear.

    Up on Bark Chip Mountain

    But now I didn’t have any hot water. It looks like I had to go revisit Maslow with his hierarchy of needs. A week ago , I had a large mound of bark chips delivered to the front of the house. It was daunting , how big that mountain was. I ordered a metric yard and I must’ve got a metric ton. I looked rather ridiculous sitting on top of a bark chip mountain the air was somewhat colder up there and I was waiting for the light rain to turn to snow.

    It never did, but I was cold. I was surprised to see Michael climb that mountain as well. He got to the top of our wood mountain with chips in his hair, a few arachnids and some thorns from a rosebush. Michael always looks good despite the mess.

    We sat silently, figuring the order of the cosmos and had no real good ideas. Then we realized we forgot the dog. She scurried up to the top of Wood Chip Mountain accidentally. I don’t know what I would’ve done if that squirrel had not made the ascent..

    Luna looked at us with her deep, dark eyes and she tried to tell us something. She knew what we had to do but I wasn’t figuring it out. Michael is smarter than I. He looked at the dog then back at me and handed me two pieces of red licorice .He said we need to do some night swimming..

    To Be Continued (Nightswimmimg)