• From The Chocolate Bar to The Tragically Hip

    Describe your dream chocolate bar.

    It has been a long time running.

    Many years ago I worked with a girl named Sheila at the Chocolate factory in town. We were casual friends at work. She was the first person to sit with me during our lunch break. Finding somebody to sit with at lunch took him back to his days when he started attending a new school in the tenth grade. Well any grade for that matter. As a kid whose family moved often.  Something drew him to Sheila or maybe she was simply a nice person.The stories we create in our own minds, Sheila was much older than me and helped him find my way at the the chocolate factory. I had a radio at my desk that kept me company. I loved music almost to a fault. We listened to the local classical radio station because it had intense weather reports. Any hints of favorable running weather uplifted the spirits. He waited for that weather report everyday at 3:45 on WHYY in Philadelphia.

    My lust for debits and credits noticeably diminished when I did not have lunch with Sheila.  I liked the breezy interlude of the day.  We bitched about our jobs, talked mostly about music and the big world outside of Reading, Pa.  About six months into his assignment she told me she was taking a vacation out west. I had never been out west and could not wait to hear about her trip. I realized this job was mundane and I was not all that good at it. I had a harder time faking it on the week that she was away. She was an ally whom I could confide. She was in payables and I was in inventory. There was a connection there. You accounting types might recognize the blurred connection.

    One thing that kept me sane that week was going for a run after work. Outside of work I had plenty of friends and connections. My daily run kept me sane, fit  and semi-focused. We were also good at having a beer or three after the run. The debits simply were greater than the credits. It was his equity, it was his goodwill.  I knew I wasn’t an accountant. It paid the bills. I had very few bills back then, I did not know that at the time.

    Sheila came back from her vacation with a new found verve, It seemed the vacation served her well.  On her first day back, she unexpectedly came to lunch ten minutes late. Sheila was the polite type, she was the punctual type. She timidly explained there was a journal entry that needed done. She was more animated than usual when she sat across from me, She told me about seeing the Rocky Mountains and long stretches of deserted road, and the night sky. She explained it in lovely detail. I was captured by the stories she told. One could see the wild west in his mind. This was something I always loved the night sky. Her descriptions were spectacular and made me want to head west and see it for himself.

    Then she got all hushed and quiet and told me about an experience she had driving through the mountains at night . She said she was driving alone on a particularly star lit clear evening. She feverishly described how she loved the solitude of the drive. She described the twinkle of the stars in full detail. She described the constellations revealing themselves one star at a time. That is how I like to remember the story.

    Then she explained how a song came on the Radio in the middle of the night and how the music was simply me. I was awestruck that she heard a song and the song made her think of me. Sheila was amazing, but it was the music that intrigued me.

    That music was The Tragically Hip. The year may have been 1989. I never did get around to listening to the music Sheila described. I remembered the stories of the mountains and the stars and what mattered to them the most was the music.

    I eventually did move west and heard the music of the Tragically Hip while finishing a running race in Ocean Shores, Washington. The music was pure and perfect, and is now a longtime companion of mine.

    Don’t tell me what the poets are doing
    Don’t tell me that they’re talking tough
    Don’t tell me that they’re anti-social
    Somehow not anti-social enough, that’s right

  • The Fifth Dimension

    The Fifth Dimension

    Do you remember your least favorite dream from childhood?

    If I could give my past self one piece of advice, what would it be?

    If I could give my past self one piece of advice, the first thing I would tell my past self, is, do not be alarmed that this older version of you is trying to talk to you. I would tell my past self that there are no real things such as monsters or ghosts.

    I used to have this dream as a kid about a lion under a bridge by a stream?I still can see the stream quite clearly and it bothered me.. the dream bothered me and it intrigued me a little.

    But the first thing I have to do is convince that past self to listen to a person of another dimension. It gets complicated. Yes, life is complicated..

  • Tale of Three Entities

    List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?

    Tale of Two Cities is the first classic that I read in the eighth grade. I remember most characters to this day. I learned what satire is, and I learned to pay attention for a long time.

    I Know This Much is True I read this book while going through a very difficult period of my life. The book was so good. I kept focused and after a few fits and starts enjoyed this book tremendously. I’ve read it more than once.

    A Man Called Ove

    This book was my gateway, drug to Frederick Backman. I discovered this story while watching a movie at an art house cinema. The movie was introduced in the trailers. I’ve now read every book by the author, and I can’t tell you which one is the best.

  • Rejection Ejection

    Rejection Ejection

    What fears have you overcome and how?

    Fear of Rejection

    When I was younger. What a useless sentence as I have always been younger. Somehow, I became a huge fan of the Los Angeles Rams. Their helmets were cool and for other unknown reasons.

    Rams

    I do not know why I noticed this, but I took notice of my relationship with winning and losing. When the Rams won, I was happy and when they lost, I was depressed. I also noticed the magnitude was much higher when they lost. 

    Completely Made-Up Math

    Rams Win (+ 4,5 Happy points)

    Rams Lose (- 6.0 Unhappy points) 

    So, using that swaggy math, if the Rams went 8 and 6 in a season it was a wash. 

    Writing Submissions 

    So, I started doing the same math with sending short stories and artwork to magazines. The ratios are so different. Let us assume a 1 in 10 rejection rate. Mine is a bit lower. 

    Rejection (-2 unhappy points)

    Acceptance (10 happy points)

    While the rejections are more frequent, the elation for acceptance that much higher. With any of these equations there are diminishing returns as you grow accustomed to the rejections. I would have to introduce a different differential equation here but that is over complicating the situation.

    But you do grow accustomed to the rejection, so that number should theoretically decrease. 

    Simultaneous Equations 

    This equation does not sit by itself. Or does the one with the football example? As the joy of watching a game or creating a story should factor into the equation.

    Race

    Today I contemplated running a race. I have not run a race in seven years. About an hour before the race, I contemplated not showing up. There were so many reasons not to run including a sore hamstring, my age, my ego, and the warmth of this chair.

    Equations

    They do not matter all that much. Remember that girl you wanted to ask out in the tenth grade but never did. You never know until you toe the starting line. 

    I showed up today and ran the race. I did well. 

    Let us use that equation on the girl from the 10th grade.

    Tenth Grade {Ask out that pretty Girl) 

    She says yes (+ 11 happiness)

    She says no ( -8 unhappiness)

    You never ask (-1) but this may linger for years, oh my goodness.

    Misplaced Math – of course every situation in life is not a mathematical equation. We still do them in our head, even if we do not realize that. And we are not always right.