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  • The Lion Tamer

    The Lion Tamer

    What jobs have you had?

    I have never had some career guidance, but here’s a perfect example of career guidance going amuck.

    Tales in Duolingo

    There is a feature in Duolingo that allows you to listen to a story and answer questions. In the story titled “I Want To Be Like You,” Junior, Eddy’s son, thinks Eddy is a lion tamer. Eddy is an average father, and he is out of his element. For now, we will just ignore the fact that every character in Duolingo speaks German with an Indian accent.

    Junior comes home excited from school one day talking about the job fair they had at school that day. Well in my world this plays out in German because that is what I am studying in Duolingo. When you are learning a language, you do not always trust your instincts and you want to make sure you are hearing the story right, but this is how this story plays out.

     

    Junior comes home from school, and his father Eddy starts asking what he would like to be when he enters the work world. His father assumed he would be a soccer player or another noble profession. Junior tells Eddie that he would like to become a lion tamer. Not only a lion tamer, but he would like to become a world, famous lion tamer. He would like to be the best in the world. The story is so awkward that I even forgot to get mad that there are still lion tamers around. To take it one step further I can not believe there are still circuses.

     

    His father appears non-plussed and naturally his father starts asking about the profession of being a lion tamer, and how he came upon wanting to become a lion tamer.

     

    Gefährlich – in the Story, the German word for dangerous is introduced. Most people agree lion taming is a dangerous profession. Junior insists it is not dangerous, and he reiterates that he is going be the world ‘s best. He does not mention that healthcare in Germany is cheap. And then he tells his father where he got the inspiration, he said he just wanted to be like his dad.

    Eddy blushes and then is confused for a second and asked how this is being like his dad. Junior tells his dad that he found a whip and a cape in his closet. A bird flies overhead, and a bee hovers around his nose. Eddie stumbles around with awkward sentences that I do not even recognize as German. “Sein Vater ist uberrascht. Yes, they introduced the word for surprised. Which I was also.

     

    There was then, an awkward silence taking up a lion share of the dialogue between them.

    There is another episode where Junior’s father is despondent because his girlfriend Chloe breaks up with him after what he considered a perfect date. Junior digs a little deeper and blames it on his father’s cooking. I personally think it has to do with what he hides in the closet.

     

    That is your family friendly Duolingo. Yes, beside the obvious gamification the app only teaches German to an A2 level. It would be nice if DuoLingo went to a higher level in German. It is more likely they develop an app in a more useful skill. Might I suggest Lion Tamer or Master Gardener.

  • No Judgement Day Here

    No Judgement Day Here

    Do you practice religion?

    What does it mean to practice religion?

    Practicing a religion generally combines internal faith with outward, visible actions. While specifics vary across traditions and each individual involved.

    Generally , I am turned off by organized religion. I have nothing against those with faith at times I am a bit envious. Is that one of the mortal sins?

    There are many religions and many gods across the world. One general theme flowing through those is the golden rule. That is treat other people as you expect to be treated no matter what your race, social status, sexual preference or religion. There is no simpler role.

    I have been part of churches all my life. I formed great relationships here and had positions of great responsibility.

    I don’t believe in heaven or hell. I believe heaven to be a made up concept for those in power promise a just reward on someone else’s ledger.

    I choose not to go to church anymore and probably will never return. But somehow, I think I practice the doctrines of most religions more than most. My daughter is Muslim and I tried to learn as much as I can. Like most religions, I find it treats women as subservient to men.

    I don’t think the world works that way. I don’t think Jesus wanted itvto work that way.

    Namaste

  • The Inflection Point

    The Inflection Point

    Do you remember life before the internet?

    Certainly, I remember life before the Internet but right now I’m going to talk about the inflection point, in my life. I was working as a finance person in Washington DC and I got a job offer from a database company, which became one of the most profitable companies in the digital age. My actual job offer was signed by Larry Ellison.

    At The Cutting Edge

    It didn’t take long for me to become a database programmer. At that time Oracle with a free spending company. We tracked our vacation days on a bulletin board in Jessica’s office. To make travel arrangements we had to call travel agency.

    But one day we started getting electronic emails. We sent emails through the operating system which was Unix. But changed it did happen fast. Oracle moved me to Seattle, at the time and Microsoft was a big part of the community..

    Our daughter had a giant tracking ball she used as a mouse when she was only a year and a half old. She played Freddie Fish and other games using the Internet.

    Eventually, my status reports were done over the web, and yes, my performance reviews. I took a little while to have the distraction of the web.

    Which is a good thing at the time as I was new to consulting. The clients were paying big money for me not to surf the web.

    Certainly I remember plenty before the Internet. I write about it often. And in a backwards type of way, it does label me as old.

    However, adopting to the technology also allowed me to retire comfortably.

    Precise Inflection Point.

    I remember walking across the campus of Oracle on a spring like day in Redwood Shores, California. There was always construction and cement set out to dry.. There in the cement, someone recently carved in some computer code into the slowly drying cement.

    “Select ‘this is happening”

    from dual

    Where 2=2.

    The technology arrived and so did I in a way. Writing computer code sure beat balance sheets and ledgers. I opened up an entire new world for me.

  • To Make a Short Story Long.

    To Make a Short Story Long.

    What are you good at?

    I’m really good at making everyday events, sublime.

    “American Psychiatric Association had a crazy desire to label all life a mental disorder.”
    ― Jon Ronson, The Psychopath Test

    I cannot imagine going through life, inheriting boatloads of liquid assets, making a lot of money, and then giving extraordinarily little of it back to society. I had the naïve notion that giving back is what we do. To become a CEO or a high ranking official, certainly having psychopathic tendencies seems to be a harbinger of caustic success.

    This thought crossed my mind as I was driving out to the banal suburbs to drop off a charity donation. It was a large bag of games and books that we were donating to a local school. That is what we do as a family as we try to give back to society. I was not particularly familiar with the donation as it was mostly my wife’s work. I told her, I would make the drive and drop it off at the desired location.

    How Life Should Work

    To give proper context to the story, I was in a bit of a hurry as I had movie tickets for two o’clock that afternoon. I was supposed to see the movie earlier this week however we had a family situation that did not allow me to see the show. I know in a book or movie the dog is not supposed to die, but our dog passed away on Tuesday. I have not been quite right since. I sent a brief note to the owner of the movie theater. He said your ticket for Sunday is good. It was a show I wanted to see.

    The Magic Of GPS

    I do not like going out to the suburbs in Clark County. In this mysterious place, 14th St. intersects with 18th St. and 105th St. intersects with 105th St. None of it makes a whole lot of sense. And Sunday in the middle of the day, hoards of people are headed home from church. in Portland, streets are logical and the suburbs not so much so that is why I must rely on GPS. I knew it would be a little bit tight to make the drive and make it back to the movie theater in time, but that is OK.

    I typed in the address into the GPS on my phone. I was listening to an audiobook at the same time. I felt lost out there as I passed a gun store, a farm supply store, and churches of many Christian denominations. It can be strangely weird listening to a book as the story unfolds and suddenly you must make a left or right or stay in the middle lane. That is all in the adventure. I was a bit distracted, as I was doing math equations as to whether I would make it back for the last showing of this movie. It was a silent movie put to the music of REM. The theatre has an amazing sound system, and the experience is tremendous there.

    I pulled up to a house in a cul-de-sac. The neighborhood has plenty of these and they all look the same. I checked the address on the phone and the address on the house and they both matched. At least in my mind they matched. But something did not seem right.

    There sat a big truck in the driveway and various loose boards and a discarded pizza box on the front porch. Who eats at Dominoes these days? With all the information I had, I was at the right house. To be sure, I walked up and knocked on the front door. There was no answer. I knocked on the front door once again, and there was no answer.

    I called my wife at home to ask her if I was at the intended house. She asked me if I drove up a long driveway and I said yes. That is a pretty big question. Every house had a large driveway. So, I knocked again.

    Here I was a guy in rural Clark County. walking, repeatedly up to a stranger’s house. I imagine I looked like a criminal.

    The American Way

    I knocked again, but still no answer. And out of that screened in front porch came a man with a shotgun asking me what the hell I was doing hanging out in front of his house. That is how stereotypes work. The owner of the truck may not have been a guy. This was just my imagination running away with me.

    Nobody came to the door; I dropped the package on the front steps.

     I got back in the car, and something did not feel right. I did what everybody does when they find them self lost. I turned off the radio. I looked at my watch and the movies were to start in fifteen minutes, and I was fifteen minutes away if I drove like a race car driver. That is not my style.

    I had taken the time to match the address to that which was on the donation form. Still, I checked again. This was against the run of play as I am not all that detail oriented. There was a hole in my method. I did not factor in that I could have fat fingered the address while entering my phone.

    Which I did.

    Suburbia has its own challenges. The correct address was a quarter mile away. This of course entailed two u turns, a crossing of a small median strip and an illegal left turn.

    And all is right with the world.

    It was now two o’clock however I had to get the package into the right hands. And with this I succeeded. A kind woman with a broad smile greeted me on the front porch. She looked like she just came home from church. There was no doubt here. Not the musical group but the conviction, my work was done here.

    I do not particularly like to drive and it is not a skill set where I excel. I drove aggressively and even took time to get annoyed by those driving the speed limit. I made it to the movie theatre and the staff simply waved me in. They were expecting me.

    I sat down in my seat and the movie had already started. It was a clever silent movie, but I didn’t recognize the music. And then the credits rolled. It was a twenty-minute prelude to the main attraction. The main show soon began. There was a couple in front of me who came to the theatre with the aid of a walker.

    I wonder how their beloved movie paired with the music of REM. The music of REM paired well with the silent movie.

    It has been a rough week.

    The story of my life in trying times
    Just add water, stir in lime
    How the west was won and where it got us. -Michael Stipe